Keep Your Power [Medical Edition]

This is a highly requested topic that was initially meant to be an instagram post to my personal account. However, it turned into quite a lengthy article due to the fact that there are so many people struggling and so many things I can share from my own experience.

Medical is different in every country. Every system has its strengths and weaknesses, often glaringly so. There are countless people whose lives have been saved by medical practitioners who have dedicated their lives to selflessly saving others. There are so many people this system has worked miracles for.

However, for those who have fallen through the cracks, there is one common thread, a dark side to a system that is ruthlessly cold and devoid of compassion. And it is FAR too easy to hand over all your power to it, until it’s too late to turn back.

This post is for those who have been ignored, misunderstood, gaslit, laughed at and scorned in a medical facility. I hear you. I’ve been there.

I understand and acknowledge that medicine is a practice, the human body is far from linear and mostly a mystery, and medical practitioners can come up empty handed when they genuinely want to provide answers for their patients. Many doctors, however, will frequently put finances, personal gain and ego ahead of patient wellbeing.

They laugh, lie, ignore, or feed legitimate untruths to their patients, people who just want to get better for themselves, their families and their future.

So the question becomes this: How do you protect yourself and your power against a system that you require but may be harmed by?

Here is what I learned during my 9 year journey with PCS.

Trust your knowledge

Nobody knows your body and mind like you do.

There is nobody in this world who has spent more time inside your body, listening to its cues and getting valuable feedback, than you have. Yes, doctors have degrees and years of valuable training. They still can’t feel everything that is going on inside you. Not everything shows up on a scan. The insight you provide from just being you is invaluable. Trust that.

Don’t let anyone talk you out of the knowledge you have gained from experiencing all that you have.

There is a fine line here we have to acknowledge, and that’s the fact that we do need to place some trust in the professionals we are consulting. The perspective they provide isn’t always life changing, but it can be. It can be the one piece of information that allows the rest of the puzzle to fall into place and make sense.

Relax into trust as best you can, both in yourself and in those you are seeking help from. Try to avoid guardedness, but still stand strong in the knowledge you bring to the table.

Trust your instincts

Unfortunately, not every doctor has good intentions.

Patient shaming is real and not likely going anywhere anytime soon. This profession might claim to have care at its core, but it is very much a business that‘s financially driven. It’s in the business of selling solutions — that can be a loose term depending on where your beliefs lie — and while it would be relieving to think that every one of those solutions prescribed is ethical, that isn’t always the case.

Listen to advice given, question it until you understand why it’s being suggested, and use your own knowledge and instincts to determine whether or not it’s right for you at this point in time. Never be afraid of seeking a second or even third opinion.

Keep yourself as your own authority. It’s hard voicing your concerns, but if your gut feeling says something is off, pay attention to it. It never hurts to sit on advice for a while to acclimatize yourself to it so your decision is a little less urgency-driven.

Do your own research

I get it. You seek medical help when you aren’t feeling great, which is exactly when support should step in and give you a helping hand. Going home and doing your own research, questioning everything until you understand it, while still trying to maintain normal adult responsibilities and functioning can be damn near impossible.

Do it anyway.

It comes down to one simple fact: No medical practitioner is ever going to be as invested in your health as you are.

The sooner you realize and understand that your wellbeing is in no one else’s hands, the closer you are to truly finding a winning combination of treatments to get well. Get a second opinion when you need one. It sucks, it’s massive effort when you have nothing left to give. But it’s critical.

Understand your path enough to know why you’re taking it. Only then can you truly commit your focus to healing under your own power with other’s guidance, instead of putting all your power and faith in their hands.

Seek alternatives

Don’t be afraid to weigh the options from your medical provider against alternatives. I have found myself some winning combinations because I was curious enough to experiment and look in strange corners of the world of healing.

While you’re trying new things, keep this in mind.

Every lifestyle change, therapy or treatment needs time to work. This road takes more patience than anyone should ever have to give, but work on this skill as much as you can. Practice reading your body’s feedback.

If something you’ve tried doesn’t work, release it back into the wild and try something else. It’s not wasted time, it’s valuable information you’ve gathered. Quite often, amazing therapies won’t be right for you simply because it’s not fitting your needs right now. You don’t need to give up on it completely.

Doctor’s who aren’t open minded may try to tell you it’s ridiculous to entertain certain therapies. They might tell you it’s placebo effect when it works. That it’s a waste of time when it doesn’t.

The bottom line is that if it feels right for you, you don’t need anyone’s permission but your own to keep going.

Ride the emotions

This is one hell of an emotional ride, whether you’re walking through your own healing or watching someone else walk through theirs. It will dredge up countless opportunities for uncomfortable and raw emotional vulnerability. These might feel like they’re stripping you naked and shattering you to your soul. Let it do both.

Processing your emotional experience is key to healing. Often, old emotions attached to stuff you’ve been carrying for years get dredged back up. This happens for a reason and it’s all part of your growth. It’s a chance to dig into yourself a little deeper.

If initially what you see is gross, overwhelming, heart wrenching, raw, unbearable… that’s okay. Work through it. What lies underneath all that is the real goal: Your true strength, mental fortitude and ability to overcome adversity.

Your capacity to hold whatever life hands you.

If you let it, it will show you your core.

Dont give up hope... ever

No matter what, fight for yourself.

Attack each issue like there is a solution. This will pull you from victimization, or a perceived dead end, into actively searching for creative solutions. All you need is to take one more tiny little step forward. You can flirt with the idea of quitting, but you’re not allowed to follow through.

Rest, shift, pivot. But don’t quit.

Keep hope in your mind’s eye, always. If it’s hopeless, manufacture hope yourself. Stay focused on that light at the end of this proverbial tunnel. No matter what.

Celebrate each win

My last point is this: Doctors are great at pointing out what’s wrong — it’s lucrative, for one thing — so it’s our responsibility to acknowledge how far we have come.

As often as you can, celebrate your wins. It can be the smallest, most subjective, imperceptible success. Celebrate the hell out of it anyway. Practice holding in your minds eye what’s going well, what you’re grateful for. Always, always lean into gratitude. A breath. A beautiful moment. Another minute alive. You can celebrate what others can’t even see and use it as fuel to take yet another step forward.

More powerfully than anything else, you are the only one with the power to decide that you’re worth fighting for.

Soldier on.